I am Rtmiss

No Fitz, I am not going to write about my damn feet. They're awesome and everything but I have no current photos.

So I'm celibate. Have been for *mutter mutter* years. I think this causes a certain amount of confusion for certain people who know me, and definitely causes confusion for people who are getting to know me. And people who merely know me via other people.

Because I'm also a flirt. And occasionally quite sleazy. And not against sexual dubiousness. Quite pro it actually, in a nobodies personal boundaries being overstretched kind of way (IE: it's all very well to make vaguely obscene remarks (etc) to someone you know shares your perverted sense of humour, but lay off anyone that doesn't). Then there's the whole dancing at parties thing. Look I don't _really_ mean anything by it OK? There is little chance that anyone is going to convince me to behave (especially during Closer ). And nobody's asked me to.

Here's who I am. Dad named me after Artemis and he was bang on the money. I'm a born hunter. The thrill of the chase and all that. To drag a metaphor out, while I enjoy the hunt and even the capture, I'm not particularly interested in the 13 course meal that results. To keep yanking at the metaphor... I realise that there are a number of guys out there who would be more than happy for me to just order the appetiser but you see the problem is not with them it is with me. Once I start I have a tendency to keep eating until I make myself sick. Not in one sitting you understand, I may have earned the nickname Insatiable Vixen (tally ho!) but I'm not entirely without limit.

In a nutshell the problem is, I fall in love. Stupidly head over heels. With my whole, huge heart. Far too quickly and far too completely (insanely, if you like). So I decided I wouldn't bother with that anymore - it was just screwing me up. Yes I probably could go seek professional help, but - and this may come as a surprise - I don't fucking want to. I'm actually reasonably content with who I am. Skeletons and all.

This is usually the point at which people suggest healthy one night stands... except that I find them deeply unsatisfying - not that I'm exactly a seasoned explorer of the realm. I don't have an issue with the concept, it just doesn't seem to work for me. And since neither does the other thing, I gave it up for Lent. And the rest of the time. Which has done me less harm than you might think. And forces me to examine passing infatuation, of which there have been a few. None that I had any real intent towards, but a spark of interest you might say. Or horny if I want to be entirely honest, which is traditional in these bouts of over share.

While I'm oversharing... I also develop very close bonds with the closest of my friends, and occasionally with people I have literally no (obvious) reason to bond with. I have a few close friends that I HAVE NEVER MET. I usually know long before they do that the bond will be eternal. It's a knack, I suppose you might say. I recognise kindred spirits - not alike spirits you understand - people that I instinctively KNOW I will get along very well with. I've only cocked it up once, I've never been wrong. I got overly enthuastic about forging a bond with someone and scared the living bejeesus out of them. I can be a LOT passionate about things. I can be a total handful - I am aware of this. But if I love you, I love you forever. I am very protective of those in my heart. And a hug monster. If I hug you regularly then you live in the deepest part of my soul. "Don't be afraid. Just walk on in."

Peace. Out.

FFS Less intolerance you bastards! -an intolerant rant about intolerance-

(contents may offend - well the odd word here and there...)

It's been a pet hate of mine for years, the way that [many] people feel the need to think less of someone for what they believe over and above that someones actions.

If I'm a demonstrably decent person, what difference does it make whether I think that 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything or not? If I think we should reincarnate Atilla the Hun and let him rule the known universe, who cares as long as I don't actually make it happen? I like blue and would probably vote labour if there was ANY candidate worth having. Does that have any bearing at all on my ability to create beautiful things?

I have some slightly odd beliefs. Not to mention a slightly skewed moral set. I'm also nice to animals and volunteer at the local Primary School. Which has more value when you judge me? I could say why are you judging me, but face it we all do it. I'd just rather people were a bit less dissmissive of 'good' and a bit more tolerant of 'bad' (I don't mean good or bad of course I mean agrees/disagrees with me or, I can/can't relate to).

But this is not about me - in fact most people I know DO take me at face value despite the constantly changing hair colour and obsession with World of Warcraft. But I watch people blow stuff out of all proportion every day. And god (don't ask WHICH god) knows I've started any number of bitchslapfights with my strange need to discuss ideas. The exchange of ideas should be a beautiful thing. But humanities greed and insecurity conspire to make the free exchange of ideas a timebomb, at zero someone decides that you've said something personally offensive about their beliefs and BOOM. It's a very special kind of time bomb too because it can go off multiple times, and can lie in wait for long periods before randomly going off again.

There's a scale to these things of course. There's worlds of difference between ("I think everyone should wear a purple ribbon tomorrow to express their sympathy at my suffering Fibromyalgia" - "I totally can't wear purple you tool, it clashes with my hair") and say ("I'm thinking of voting RIGHT at the next election" - "OMG all right-side voters are baby eaters, I can't believe you advocate eating babies!") Oddly I can live with the first, but get this tingly thing going on in my (fingertips, lips, whichever bit is most appropriate) at the second... It actually matters not a single bit to me whose side I might have more sympathies with I'll always defend the non douchebag. The more the assailant thrashes about, the more I feel the need to reach for a stone and sharpen my wit. I won't go as far as AGREEING with someone just because they have a douchebag in their face (now THERE'S an image) of course. Tell the dickhead FUUSE4aPWN* though, that I'll do. Or just saying hey I think that guys an AFC*, sorry you had to put up with that - that I'll do.

It's the differences in life that make it interesting. If you have too much in common with someone your relationship with them is almost bound to become stale very quickly. (Did I just hear the sound of divorce lawyers salivating? - forget it I'm not a fucking clairvoyant, and my opinion is unlikely to affect the numbers.) Celebrate the differences of opinion. Enjoy them. Don't sweat them.

Peace. Out.

*Acronyms courtesy of Rtmiss' dictionary of abuse (translations available on request) I have a million more. Well I will when I've made them up.

-contrary to limited opinion this has not been written in response to one incident, but many.
-Yes Charlotte the baby eaters bit was especially for you. Thought it was only fair the 'darkside' wore that one this time.
-All opinions expressed here are mine. Don't like'em? Fuck you. Nah really, feel free to disagree your brains out, just don't expect to change my mind.
-Almost all examples in this were MADE UP so don't feel the need to be a douchebag OK?
-I really do have Fibromyalgia, among other things, but I don't need you to wear a purple ribbon. Please don't, it'll make you look stupid.