Post Feminist Dystopia or some crap

*contains swearing and rage, images may offend. They certainly made me pretty cross.

My daughter brought to my attention a wild flailing *discussion* of feminism on a local event page... I went to look at it with some trepidation because when I'm not already angry I can usually manage to remember NOT TO READ THE COMMENTS. But she was right, this was worth my attention, though I only made it through maybe half of it before my eye started twitching and I was forced to have a quiet sit down and some tea. PEOPLE ARE STUPID FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS.

I am a feminist. Or as I've mentioned before an everything-ist, but for the sake of today's outburst, I AM A FEMINIST. I am not a *feminazi* and though I grasp where people are coming from with that term I wish they would LEAVE IT OUT. Because this kind of thing shouldn't be identified by its extremists. Every group has its extremists. Can we just call them extremists and not give them special powers by granting them a magic title? I don't like feminist extremists either. I think they are performing a hatchet job on the movement, just like all the other extremists do. They undermine the ability to get anything FUCKING DONE. 

So here I was, on a facebook event page, approaching with caution. The first few entries seemed OK... Then... BAM. I knew before I even started reading the comments on it, that I'd found the entry that had raised my girl's concerns. Because as relatively benign as the initial entry was I could see it was going to both polarise people AND bring the crazies out of the closet. On both sides. 

Let's wade in. What's the difference between a man in public with no shirt, and a woman in public with no shirt? To be clear, nipples out boys and girls. IS there something inherently different about a woman's chest that makes it sensible that the law tends to not give a fuck that the guys has his shirt off but will arrest the woman for indecent exposure? This was where this one started off. If you can't already picture where it's going then you are probably already further from the middle of the argument than I like to be. I don't even care about the initial argument. It took about three seconds for this to turn into RABID feminist extremist versus RABID anti-feminist extremist, and when a bit further along a fucking MRA joined in it was all just doomed. Right. I'll slap myself now. I PROBABLY shouldn't say fucking MRA - some of the points the less extreme versions make are quite valid. MRA for those of you late to the party stands for Men's Rights Activist. And because to an awful lot of people, the very idea that men actually need a rights movement for their very own is pretty ridiculous, they very much START at the rabid end of the scale. The non-rabid ones call themselves humanists, or equalists or something that doesn't sound like big crying babies. Yeah, OK I have a problem with the men's rights activists. Here's the first thing this one posted. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

*FYI: This appears to actually have little if anything to do with Dr. Kimmel. The quote is his, nothing else is as far as I can tell. The only *source* I've been able to find for it is a dubious looking website that posts any old crap. But as you can imagine, douchebags gonna douche...

The text is quite tiny, I'll elucidate for funsies. It's a list. Of things that apparently women have as privilege over men. Some of them while technically accurate, it would be hard to call actual privilege. "Women live longer"... yup that's right we do, on average, live longer. What's your point? "Less work-related injuries"... also true. That this is at least partially because we are limited in the jobs that people will give us is irrelevant, apparently. 

One of my personal favs... "Emotional encouragement"... wait, what? Isn't that, that stuff that you tell us is bullcrap? Isn't that, that thing you throw in our faces when we cry during an argument? Isn't that, that thing you tell us boys need a Father figure for so they can AVOID it? I totally WANT men to be raised with emotional encouragement and support. You have no idea. I PREFER men who are in touch with their emotions. Men who are all fucking locked up inside are HARD WORK. And I DO work at it. I've been unlocking men's feelings for all of my adult life. Or trying to anyway. Friends and lovers. Because it's fucking tedious trying to communicate openly with someone who doesn't show you what they feel. 

I'm pretty fond of "Less often admonished by teachers" as well. Because boys are raised to be wolves. Women are raised to not stand up for themselves, to not be rude, to be NICE. That that happens to benefit us during school is pretty fucking irrelevant when I can't convince my boss to pay me the same wage as the douche in the next office. 

There are things on this list that I agree with. "Men don't get a fair deal in family court". (though not for the reasons this douchebag brought up) Women are almost always given custody of the kids. Basically, the mother has to be verifiably fucked up to not get custody. Even when it makes more sense for the kids to go with Dad. 

The massive toolbox who brought this list up seems to be not from NZ (I mention this because the rest of his ranting about family court stuff was utterly not NZ-y) - which is interesting because this was an NZ event and he clearly came looking for a fight. He's probably friends with the less crazy extremist I guess. I'd hate to think he just cruises the internet looking for these arguments. Though I know some people do. Some of what's on the list isn't really relevant to NZ... so I'll choose to ignore it.  

"Draft immunity"... well, I do disagree with it. But as long as the Armed Forces are still clinging to the concept of no women in battle this is unlikely to change. Not to mention there's a biological reason for it - NO I DON'T MEAN WOMEN ARE TOO WIMPY FOR WAR - I mean, if you kill off 80% of the most viable men, the population can still recover reasonably because WOMEN HAVE BABIES. If you kill off 80% of the viable women you are in real trouble. To put that utterly bluntly. The spoodge from one guy can make many women pregnant. The uterus from one woman cannot carry many babies. At least not at once. This is one of those inequities that is probably going to have to wait for science to catch up before we can fix it. When we can grow babies entirely without using lady bodies we'll all fight together. I'm pretty sure all the babies in jars stuff is going to raise some really LOUD religious arguments. But I'll be happy to yell about that too. And we all get to have lots and lots and lots of sexy times unhampered by damned inconvenient pregnancies. WOOHOO. And who said women don't really like sexy times? I didn't give it up because I didn't like it - it was the other stuff that was breaking me apart. 

But a lot of that list is just BOLLOCKS. It's made up BS that actually has more to do with women not being treated as equals than it does with anything else. If you actually look at each thing a large portion of them are bad rewrites of things we want to change BECAUSE; FEMINISM. BECAUSE; EQUALITY. "Expected to take an easier job" That sounds like a BAD thing to me. I don't want an easier job. I want a challenging job. I want an exciting job. 

"Hypergamy" WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Did this thing ACTUALLY just use a big word to call us GOLD DIGGERS? Mother fucking hell. I literally CAN NOT. If I even start on this one I will be here all day and be swearing even more than I usually do. So I will limit myself to just saying FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. 

But look the madness doesn't all come from one side. Or does it? Because I sincerely hope that this next piece is a douche of a man pretending to be a BATSHIT CRAZY woman. BATSHIT. CRAZY. You can't have a Tumblr page called "Castrate All Men" and not be certifiable. Thanks for not helping the cause in anyway you insane bitch. This was posted by the same muppet MRA who posted the list. Because he was "proving" that feminists are mental. 

This is *totes* bizarre. And I am anything but OK with it. The suggestion that someone who TRIGGERS your memories of an assault is also assaulting you is just SO. MUCH. BULLSHIT. I've had to read through a number of posts on this horrible Tumblr to just assure myself that if it is a fake account or "satire" or something it's very very weirdly done. It appears legit. Which makes me want to throw up a bit. Because this wasn't even the craziest thing in there. Don't go looking, just take my word for it. BATSHIT. 

OK IF, maybe IF someone triggered you ON PURPOSE there is a case for some form of crime - I'm not sure what it would technically be, but I can see the case there. But what she describes here is so much bullshit I'm surprised she could dig her way out of it. WTF? BATSHIT. This is the sort of mad ass Misandrist who is completely fucking up equality for everyone. Because who the fuck can take this seriously? And because douchenozzles like the MRA dude will try to tar us all with the same brush. 

For everyone's sake, ladies try to stay sane in your search for equality. Asking for more than equal is douchery. Asking for the systematic dismantling of the male of the species is completely BATSHIT. I don't hate men. Most of my best friends are men. I'm looking for equality here, not some crazy feminist dystopia. I have suspicions that a Matriarchy might be a nice thing to try. But it might turn out to be just as stupid and fucked up as Patriarchy. Can we just run things together? Please? 

Because all this stupid fighting about it achieves very little. But feminists can't stop fighting yet because we haven't achieved equality yet. We've made some big steps. And there are a lot of brilliant, fantastic men on board. Men who see the insidious sexism that goes on every day and want to HELP, want to step up and make it right. AND I LOVE THEM. But then there's the pile of disenfranchised men, who feel like they've lost something AND IT ISN'T FAIR. I'm sorry guys, but what you had before wasn't fair. We're working on fair - and to be completely honest about it, some of you ARE going to suffer for it. Because women are going to be applying for the same jobs as you, and some of them are going to be BETTER than you, but that's actually FAIR. So suck it up and accept it the way you have to when another man gets the job ahead of you. Because it's the same thing. 

Like so many other bigots, you're a dying breed. This is no kind of threat, it's just attrition. The next generation is less douchebaggy about all manner of inequalities. And I love them for it. Each passing generation is an improvement over the last. Like it or not we will achieve equality. Thanks to the kids. 

Peace. Out.

Adorable MRA's and some HOPE for the future.

*Some swearing, a lot of mockery. Shorter than usual, because really these people are too funny to take seriously.

Men's Rights Activists. Aren't they cute? Isn't it just lovely that they're standing up for the long forgotten and hard persecuted rights of white middle-class men. The hardest done by of all the menfolk. NOBODY CARES WHAT THEY WANT. And they want it all. Because they used to have it all, and how dare we want our share? I mean really how dare we? The very idea that we might look at them lording their privilege and think, you know what I WANT ME SOME OF THAT. As if we have some GOD GIVEN RIGHT. Is that part of the problem? God given? I wonder, merely because the bible is chock full of that bullshit. And while there is literally NO WAY in which a legitimate to the location and times bible could have been written about WHITE men, isn't it funny how they've appropriated it? If the Witch floats, burn her. 

To be fair... it isn't just white men. But they tend to be the loudest, because they have so much more reason to be savagely douchebaggy about the whole thing. Wait, what? Savagely douchebaggy you say? Surely NO ONE has any reason to behave like a complete tool because mommy is trying to take their toys away? Unless they're 3 years old and don't understand the concept of equitable distribution... I'm just going to leave that hanging there.

Right now they have their frilly underwear in a twist about the new Mad Max film apparently. Because it DARES to a have female characters that aren't dependent on male superiority for their existence. The very idea. I'm beginning to suspect that these guys have no women in their lives. Which is understandable when you think about it, I mean I'd cross the street to avoid them. Though there is a part of me that appreciates them speaking up so clearly. So I know who not to fuck. Not to mention that really extreme douchebaggery just makes them look like fatheads.

Among the *brilliant* (for brilliant read facile) arguments I've read (not from Aaron Clarey, who appears to be the beginning of the whatever the fuck this is) was the ever popular 'Men are stronger than women so it's totally not realistic to show women beating the snot out of men'. You should probably tell that to the guy who jumped me late at night many many years ago. So what you're saying is that ALL men are stronger than ALL women? Because NO. Not to mention the other side of that coin where women TEND to be more agile and flexible. Men and women have different skill sets as a general rule. This doesn't actually mean that one is less able than the other, just that they will bring a different combination of awesome to the table. I've lost the use of one of my arms. I can still kick you in the face while you're standing behind me. Different skills. 

I'd love to tear the entire 'Mad Max is bad m'kay' argument to shreds but there's a problem with that. It's primarily 'feminism waah waah poor us, we don't want to give you any of our toys' BS so there is fuck all to actually pull apart. Seriously. Please go and read it. Everyone should go and read it, it's good for a laugh. 

Here's the primary offender. For funsies. I sure as hell wouldn't fuck him. 

For extra funsies I'll yank apart some of my favourite lines. 

"Nobody barks orders to Mad Max"

OH DO FUCK OFF. Do I need to come over and shout at you for a bit? You take orders from the person who's in charge. That's how it works. The person in charge is the person who's most capable in any given situation. Mad Max is a fucking head case. He's not suited to be in charge of opening a tin of beans. If you put him in charge, people die. He is very good at getting certain things done. Small objectives. He is a classic Fucking Bastard Sergeant. He is Sergeant Major Shut Up from It Ain't Half Hot Mum. He'll get the assignment done, every time. He may came back with a lot fewer men. Also the audience may get a laugh out of it.

"Fury Road was not going to be a movie made for men. It was going to be a feminist piece of propaganda posing as a guy flick."

Or it's an action movie that happens to centre around a female hero. OMG. Is your penis really so insecure that you can't cope with this concept? This descendant of Boadicea (probably, I AM British) has a thing or two to say about this. I've been a hero a few times. I've saved a couple of lives. I've been the one jumping in front of danger to protect others. My vagina didn't not spontaneously morph into a penis for the occasion. I did not have to tell myself to man up or grow some balls. Me and my girl parts leapt in and did just fine. Boobs and all. Heroism is not solely the territory of nutsacks. I'll tell you what fella, why don't you try Boxing Up Mate? You might learn something. Get some tits. 

Which drags me into another area.

I'm not a fan of all the terms for courage being man-centric. A friend threw the term "Box Up M8" at me the other day, and for ever more I shall be throwing it at anyone who throws any "Man Up" type term at me. Because cunts are pretty hardcore. 

Actually, while we're on the subject... Cunt is an interesting anomaly to me in the wildcard abuse zone. It's used in so many contexts. At once one of the most vilest pieces of abuse and at the same time sometimes used in a very different context. "He's a good cunt" I'm not even sure what the fuck that is meant to imply, but it mostly seems to be used in a fairly positive spin. "He's a hard cunt" again, a little shy of knowing what the fuck they want to convey but seems to be suggestive of someone being extra staunch. You might have noticed something here. They are both directed at men. I've never ever heard cunt used in a positive light towards a women. Which I find fascinating. As an amateur linguist I find all muddling of languages fascinating. It's one of those words I'd like to see us take back and turn into something positive. Like Slut. The kids are working on that one my daughter assures me. And it will be the kids who make the change. It always is. So kids, keep up the good work on being open-minded about ALL THE THINGS. I see great things for the future as long as you keep stomping on all the bigoted rubbish in the world. Keep caring about stuff kids. Save the Whales, like we haven't. Bring Peace. Like we didn't. Have equal rights, like we're kinda working on but some of us are total crap at. It is with joy that I look at polls segregated into age groups and see that you are so much BETTER than us at accepting equality. For everyone. Please for the love of everything that I hold dear. DON'T GROW OUT OF IT. 

With love, from the generation that tried and sorta failed a bit. At least we're trying. Take the baton and hold it high. I have faith in you. 

Peace. Out.