So. There was this irritating post yesterday suggesting that girls shouldn't wear skimpy clothes because it's 'immodest' and attracts 'pigs'. It paints a nasty picture of why nice girls should cover up so they can catch a nice guy. To ice the cake it's signed off "sincerely, Real Men.
And I HATE IT. H. A. T. E. I. T.
To begin with, opinions on the relative decency of skirts lengths and cleavage depth are entirely subjective not to mention pathetic (sorry, I'm super irritated by the concept that naked r bad m'kay. Naked is what we all are under whatever clothing we choose to wear and IT ISN'T SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF) the amount of skin I choose to reveal is more heavily influenced by the weather than it will ever be by other peoples attitudes.
But the main irritating bit for me is the continuing saga of rape culture. Insidious, fucking annoying, rape culture. Because this attitude expecting women to cover up because men might get the wrong idea is an ongoing and enormous problem. It's not even the 'wrong idea' that I give a fuck about, it's the using the wrong idea as an excuse for piss poor behaviour. This attitude that wearing a tight dress is some inherent offer. Because clearly expecting men to be capable of exhibiting self control is way too much to ask. It's the removal of our right to say no on petty and frivolous grounds.
Which brings me to the 'Real Men' sign off. Real Men can look at a woman in whatever she chooses to wear without seeing her outfit as some form of gift wrap. This real men crap gives me apoplexy. Incoherent rage. Because the most common apparent definition of a 'Real Man' seems to have less to do with decency and respect and more to do with control-freaks, physical prowess and douchebaggery. The men I like the best are the ones for whom being male or female doesn't change the way they treat a person. (you know, fumbling attraction and related awkwardness aside). Men who converse with me on the same level as they would any of their friends. The real men in my life are all keepers. I was going to list a few, but I realised that I am blessed with a long list of great male friends and it would start getting super awkward. And then I'd forget someone and they'd be sad. It's just a whole awkward kettle of fish. You know who you are, I hope. And I love you all.