Morals are not the same as Ethics

Morals versus Ethics

This is an important distinction where law making is concerned.

Currently in New Zealand there is a not very new but freshly hot *discussion* in play regarding abortion law. To cut a long story short; a quite left winged party has a policy to change the laws regarding abortion, to legalise and extend the rules applying to abortion. And we have an election soon. Dynamite + flame = BOOM. 

Here's something I wrote a while back - LINK - that isn't technically about abortion but about choice and how religious doctrine is not the boss of me. I'm putting this here to save me having to reiterate the basic idea that your belief set is NOT THE SAME as mine; and until you can actually prove that I'm wrong, or at least have an open discussion about it, rather than just shouting your beliefs at me I don't much care what your opinion is.

What I want to discuss now is the difference between morals and ethics in this situation. People love to tell me what is morally correct - usually while telling me that I'm not. Morally correct is however a subjective interpretation of what is right - a moral set comes side by side with a belief set and the two are usually intertwined. For what it's worth - the first person to suggest that I have no beliefs because I identify as an Agnostic is likely to get a metaphorical smack; call that fair warning.  The first person to suggest that my morals are worth less because I don't believe in any deity can expect to hear the following, only with my caps lock on... I don't need a god figure to tell me whats right or wrong - I make my own decision based on fairness and decency and without the threat of eternal damnation. If you think this makes my morals worth less than yours you probably need to examine the concept more closely.

Morals are often arrived at by attachment to the belief set of a larger group, but they are arrived at by an individual based on those beliefs and can vary quite wildly both from group to group AND within a group. 

Ethics look at a situation from the perspective of the group definition of right. Ethics are reached by consensus and while they may mirror the morals of many they will sometimes be contrary to the morals & beliefs of even quite large groups. Ethics take the group consensus and turn it into a guideline for behaviour. The law takes ethical decisions and turns them into a rule set for common behaviour practices. The judicial system sets a system of punishments for the infringement of that rule set. There is no judicial or legal system in place for the transgression of a moral choice that is not also a transgression of an ethical choice. To put that more plainly, or at least differently. You will not be punished under civil law for a moral transgression UNLESS that transgression is also a breach of ethics. All the politicians would be in prison if you were. *Zing*. Your immortal soul is your own problem.  

The argument over abortion is currently mainly in the sphere of morals, as individuals argue over what they feel to be right. The decision on what is legally right is quite another story. While the moral opinion of the population at large should certainly be considered,  it is the facts of the case that will decide the ethics for the most part. 

So each and every one of you; if you want to be taken seriously in this debate there are several things you need to understand...

• The only thing you gain from the hurling of abuse at your opposites is the disdain of every sane voice.
• Saying 'I disagree' without following up with how, why and what could be changed to fix this is utterly without value. This is a debate not a poll of opinion.
• Stating an opinion as a fact is stupid. Backing up your opinion with facts is awesome.
• Facts you learned by googling and taking the first answer that agreed with you is not the same as backing your opinion up with facts. Though they may bear a close resemblance. Research is not a filthy word.
• Moist is a filthy word.
• Personal abuse is utterly unacceptable as a means of validating your argument. I'm fat, what's your point?
• If you call someone stupid merely because you disagree with them, you are saying far more about yourself than you are about them.
• I may be harping on about not being a dick - but have you READ some of the comments on these debates? 
• I will have far more respect for reasoned argument from someone I disagree with than for a throw away comment from someone I do agree with.
• Debate is GOOD; better ethical decisions are made the more members of the group affected by the decision talk about it.
• Trying to shut people out of the discussion because you don't think their opinion counts is a DICK MOVE. Yes, I know a lot of women feel that men shouldn't get any kind of a vote here BUT men are also half of the conception equation. What weight different opinions carry is in the end up to those who actually get to decide the matter. 
• Be willing to THINK about what your opposites are saying; if we dismiss everything we disagree with we will never reach any kind of consensus. We will only reach a bloody minded decision based on one set of ideals.

This decision is far to important to not take seriously; make your voice heard but don't forget that everyone else's voice gets to be heard too. Dickishness not withstanding. 

Peace. Out.

Contraception. Make up your fucking mind.

The current bun fight in America (well other places too, but the US makes the most noise, probably because they’re the most poorly behaved children) over contraception is making me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

The idea of banning contraceptives fills me with dread. Have these idiots not thought this through? Because the same people who want to ban contraceptives also want to ban abortions which makes no sense at all to me.(Please don’t get me started on that topic, I have complicated opinions). If we all had the same belief set, I could maybe get on board with it. But we don’t, we are a myriad of beliefs & morals. And it’s just plain WRONG to try to force your beliefs on someone else. That is how wars start. I don’t have a problem with someone thinking contraception and abortion are wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I do have a problem when you try to take other peoples right to an opinion out of the equation. The only fair way is to make it available and leave it in the hands of the individual to decide. There is more to this argument, but I want to stay away from that bit for now.

Sex is primarily the method for propagation of the species. It’s also fun, or rather it should be or you’re doing it wrong. Now I’m actually OK with you believing that it’s meant to be between married people and just for creating babies. I happen to think that’s a very boring opinion, but you’re entitled to it if that’s your choice. But, given that I not only don’t follow that bible thing, but also disagree with it fairly vehemently in many areas – why should I have to live by the rules you say your bible wants YOU to live by? It’s not my book, I’m not even interested in it. It doesn’t fit with my morals and upsets me on a number of levels. It’s not a legally binding document.

I believe that men and women, men and men, women and women… in whatever combination appeals to all involved (and by involved I mean specifically involved, not generally involved in a busybody kind of way)… should enjoy each other as makes them happy. I should be able to commit myself to whichever person or persons want me to, on whatever level of commitment we agree to. This also includes taking responsibility for reproductive possibilities. If we don’t want children, and the means exist to prevent conception while still allowing us to have a satisfying sexual relationship then using that contraception is for me the correct and responsible thing to do. As is taking appropriate steps if that contraception fails. Steps that are appropriate to my moral set. And legal.

There is an argument being made that some forms of contraception are actually destroying the embryo. From the perspective of people who believe that that embryo is a person in its own right already and has its own right to life – I can accept those opinions, they differ from mine but I can accept them. My answer to the people who tell me that those forms of contraception are murder is, don’t use them then. If you believe that by using those methods you are committing murder then you most certainly should not use them. However, I believe that the line at which a life becomes a being in its own right is much further along. For a significant portion of the pregnancy that life is just a bunch of cells with no existence of its own. That’s my opinion, and by my opinion I feel that abortion is acceptable if you have reasonable justification for it. (I’ll open the ‘justification’ can of worms another time) (and the ‘who has a place in the decision’ can of worms)

You see, much like the US, my country is a big old melting pot too. And I’d be mad as shit if people here started trying to tell me I had to run my life by their beliefs. And if the people who are doing exactly that were honest with themselves, they’d hate it if anyone tried to do the same to them. It’s one thing for the government to have made a bunch of laws founded on democratic process. It’s a completely different kettle of fish to have politicians trying to force their flavour on you. In a country that has such mixed culture you cannot base your decisions on one groups beliefs without bigotry, racism, sexism and any number of other –isms. As Ferris Bueller* once said, “a person shouldn’t believe in an ism – he should believe in himself”.

But back to the subject of contraception. What is the problem with it? From a societal perspective it’s a very good thing. It limits population increase, limits the number of unwanted children, lowers the amount of money needed for pregnancy healthcare, childcare & education and lowers the occurrence of many sexually transmitted diseases. Please feel free to add more things it aids with. My brain is on a go-slow today. I really do grasp that some people disapprove of it, mostly on religious grounds. I accept their distaste, I accept that they don’t like my opinion. I’m not particularly keen on theirs either.

Here’s the thing, it’s absolutely lovely if you have the expectation of sex only occurring between married couples, in the pursuit of children. But reality isn’t always the way we want it to be. Reality for me is that, if I choose to have sex, I can enjoy it with whomever I choose, without fear of disease, without the danger of an unwanted pregnancy (ok, to be realistic, with the extremely lowered chance of STD or pregnancy: it isn’t foolproof). Reality for me is that I wish to use contraception when engaging in recreational sex. I’m not trying to be consequence free, I’m trying to take responsible action to ensure my partners and my safety and security. You cannot lay the guilt trip of your beliefs on me because the beliefs I have to live up to are mine. I believe that sex should be between consenting partners, giving and taking pleasure from each other. Between people who understand the risks and potentials and act appropriately in accord with those.

Wanting to enjoy sex does not make me, or anyone else, a slut. Again, your standards are not the ones I have to live up to. Only mine.

It’s being said that a society built on the use of contraceptives sends our children an immoral message. Really? I’m going to use my child as an example here. I hope she forgives me one day for holding her up to the light the way I do. I’m very, very proud of her. My daughter is 15. She understands the consequences of having sex, she understands the risks as well as the joys. She will not give her virginity away lightly. She knows that contraception is very important for teenagers in their early sexual pursuits. Teenagers have hormones, crazy, crazy hormones. That lead them to do stupid things. By educating my daughter in appropriate choices and understanding the consequences of your choices. In teaching her that contraception is available to her when she feels the time is right. In raising her to have a good sense of self esteem, and the understanding that she has every right to say NO. By all these things I have a daughter that I can trust to choose what’s best for her. That I can trust not to make an ignorant mistake. I trust her to look before she leaps. If your children are making immoral decisions it most likely isn’t society’s fault.

I talked to my daughter about this while I was writing it. I told her that there were some people trying to ban contraceptives. She responded, slightly flippantly, by asking if they wanted everyone to get pregnant? She has a point. Though the worse point I think is, do they want everyone to get sick? Because no matter how you want to sell it, people will cheat, people will sleep around, people will move on from old partners. And if you want to tell them they CAN’T do those things either well you’re getting into a whole other argument. One I’ll be wading into shortly.

Peace. Out.



*Ferris Bueller’s day off (1986) Written and Directed by the late, great, John Hughes